[Writer’s Note: I’m changing the order of the last 5 rules. That’s how I roll.]

Let me start by saying that this is the subject I’m probably the least qualified to talk about. And I’ll probably end up telling the longest, seemingly off subject story for this one. But bear with me. After all, I tend to be that guy who walks into a room and demands to be in the middle of every conversation, all the time. That’s how I used to be. Or at least I hope I’m trending in that direction.

I had lunch with John Garrett a few months back and it really changed how I look at things. Well, not really look, how I listened. We sat at Sabor Latino (surprise, surprise) and I talked. And talked. And talked. Looking back, I talked out of my ass, talked about things I hardly knew anything about, and about how great I was. It must have taken John an hour to get a word in edgewise.

Then John asked one, simple question.
What do you know about me?

I must have looked like a complete and total idiot with the expression that came over my face. Because that’s when it hit me. After god-knows how long, I hadn’t asked given John a chance to say anything. I hadn’t even asked him if he has any kids. I showed little to no concern about someone I was quite frankly interested in learning much more about.

I left that lunch quite literally shellshocked and with a reading assignment. [Strange, I know. Just go with it.] John suggested that I read, “The Go-Giver” by Bob Burg and John David Mann. In the book, Pindar teaches a young go-getter, Joe, about The Five Laws of Stratospheric Success. If you haven’t read it, please take the time to give it a go. It’s an amazing book [or audio book, in my case] that I could go on and on about. But the message relevant to our story came in the final law. If you don’t like spoilers, stop reading here.

The final law is The Law of Receptivity: The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving. In the book, this resolves the story and brings it full circle for Joe. However, for me, it’s really opened me up to a whole other playing field in the world of interaction. I am learning to be open to receiving people’s information, stories, criticisms, and conversation. As hard for me as it’s been to adjust, I’m tending to listen to what others have to say. It’s not my nature, nor is it what I’m used to, but making the effort and it’s starting to pay off.

I’ve noticed during my time using Twitter that many who have trouble understanding what Twitter is becoming tend to do the same thing. They talk and talk and talk. They don’t tend to listen to what their followers have to say. Politicians are horrible about this. Brands are bad about it too. Businesses, like my wife’s salon, is the same way. They just step up to the keyboard and start doing what they know, talking. Which is perfectly normal and natural, until people decide that they don’t want to listen to you sell them hair gel or get a free laptop. That’s when people and businesses cry “Snake Oil!” or “All people talk about is walking their dog!”. They aren’t giving Twitter an honest effort. They aren’t choosing to listen.

And who knows just why they choose not to listen. Some don’t know any better. They’ve been doing the talking the same way for years. So what if the world is changing around them. I believe these people are afraid that if they chose to listen, they might have to ask themselves the question: Why is listening important in this medium?

Which is good and valid question. Why is listening important in this medium? What power do the cool kids have with their fancy internet-enabled phones and their 50 wpm typing speed? It’s because these technologies are bringing people together. And when people coming together, something important always happens. Look at most historic events. Most center around when people came together for a cause.

Woodstock.

Tiananmen Square.

The 2008 US Presidential Election.

What better reason to come together than to live together online? What’s better than being in a supermarket and asking Twitter what’s for dinner and getting a dozen ideas? What makes you feel better after being sick than a half dozen tweets asking if you’re doing better? How can you not love calling a dinner tweetup and having a dozen friends show up?

Important stuff is happening on Twitter and online. I know it’s hard to see. But trust me, it’s there. It’s happening. And all you have to do is listen.

Are you listening?